soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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