We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
