Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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