Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
