had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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