I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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