for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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