Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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