FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
