she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
