how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
