he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
