College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
