So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize