Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
