I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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