You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize