i think i have herpe
just one?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize