shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
