pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
