we're blogging at a bar
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
