i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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