he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
