you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
