I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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