she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Randomize
