u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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