I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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