i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How external is "for external use only"?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
