Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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