brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
