proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
