3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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