the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
