wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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