You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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