You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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