pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
