I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's rum buckets o'clock
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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