Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
