I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
