he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
