My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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