Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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