I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
