I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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