maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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