is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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