So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
