new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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