i already hear my dad disowning me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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