i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
