There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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