It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize