you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
