his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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