he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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