Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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