It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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