Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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