i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
