Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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