No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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