You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
